I Joined Weight Watchers

Today I stepped on the scale. I knew I gained weight during pregnancy but I didn't realize I gained 50 pounds. Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. What the heck did I do? What did I eat to cause me to feel like the size of a mini-van? I mean sure I knew that I wasn't close to being my ideal weight because I just had a baby, but I had no idea that I was this far from being healthy. I didn't just let the ball drop on this one, I hurled the ball to the ground in one strong throw. Wow. I needed to think about this. I needed to allow myself to be upset that I pushed my body this far from fitting into a pair of jeans a size you can actually say aloud. Why did I allow myself to hide in my comfy maternity pants and sweats for so long? Fear. Yup. I was afraid of this moment right here when I had to sit down with the number and own it.

My biggest weakness is lack of accountability and control. I thought about what I ate yesterday and realized that I eat too much at each meal. I have allowed myself to eat like this so often and for so long that I forgot what a healthy portion size looks like. I forgot that a portion size of meat is only about the size of your palm or 4 oz. I realize now that this whole time I have been overeating and never really thinking about the sheer amount of food I was consuming.

Now yes, pregnancy does call for an increase in calories, but it doesn't call for what I did. If I kept going like this my daughter would have a very overweight and unhealthy mom. I never want her to have to worry about me like I did with my parents growing up so I am stopping this madness today. I took a much needed step and joined Weight Watcher online and am tracking my food and weight as of today.

I'm not happy that I have to rely on a service to help me maintain better eating habits, but it's better than sitting around complaining about my weight and not taking action. I am hoping that with the help of Weight Watchers and my former workout habits I will be in even better shape by the summer. I am also going to sign myself up for a couple of 5k and 10k races for the spring/summer to help me stay motivated with running. I will keep updating on my progress with this as I will need the encouragement and outlet for reflection and accountability.